Leeds United v Oxford United

Back at Fortress Elland Road where our form is imperious and we will have enjoyed a full seven day break before taking on the mighty Oxford. The city of Oxford or Oxenford derives its name from being situated near a ford on the River Isis, and as a market town for cattle. Oxford is more famously known though for hosting the oldest university in the English speaking world. The city was briefly the seat of the Royal Court during the English Civil War when it was beseiged three times before falling to parliamantary forces. In modern times, it has been an important centre of motor manufacturing after Morris Motors was established in 1910 where it has been the principal production site for Mini cars, now owned by BMW since 2000. Oxford is also home to the Headington Shark, a rooftop sculpture depicting a large fibreglass shark embedded head-first in the roof of a house.

The club was originally founded as Headington Football Club in 1893,

a village team known locally as "the boys from over the hill". The boys were formed at the Britannia Inn, Headington , following a meeting organised by local quack, Dr Robert Hitchings, as a way for the cricketers of Headington Cricket Club to maintain their fitness during the winter break. They later changed their name to Headington United following the merger with Headington Quarry in 1911. But it would not be until 1960 that the club would rebrand as Oxford United and two years later were elected to the football league. Oxford are unimaginatively known as the 'U's, feck knows why, or 'the yellows' in regard to their blue and yellow playing strip.

Having faced bankruptcy in 1982, the club were taken over by media monster and Sugar Daddy tyrant, Robert Maxwell, who proposed merging the 'Us' with neighbours Reading to form a new club called the Thames Valley Royals, but was thwarted by a backlash of fanpower. Oxford's glory years were from 1984 and 1986 when the club earned successive promotions into the First Division, and even managed to win the League Cup in 1986. Success proved short lived and in the aftermath of the death of Cap'n Bob in 1991, the 'U's were relegated in 1994 and have languished as 'over the hill' ever since.

Oxford's most famous players are foul mouthed commentator and former WBA & Man Yoo manager, Ron Atkinson, who made over 560 appearances for the club; his brother Graham Atkinson, the club's leading goalscorer with 107 goals; and John Shuker who holds the record for most appearances in the football league - 478.

Oxford's mascots are Olly the Ox and Olivia the Ox, neither of who look particularly Ox-like. Cambridge supporters who don't have a mascot regularly taunt Oxford for giving in to American style culture. Claims that Olivia is transgender have yet to be proved.

If you happen to be in Oxford, I recommend the Kings Arms opposite the Bodeian Library; the Turf Tavern were Bill Clinton may or may not have smoked a joint; Oxford's smallest and oldest bar - the Bear; and The Head of the River on the Isis - best viewpoint for gaslighting students and tourists flailing in narrow boats and the inevitable clown who falls in. The Eagle and Child is best avoided.

Famous celebrities form Oxford include

• Hugh Laurie

• Dorothy L Sayers

• Stephen Hawking

• Liz Truss

• King John of England

• Yasmin Le Bon

• Martin Keown

• Cressida Dick

• Douglas Bader, Royal Air Force (RAF) flying ace in World War II, attended Oxford University

Leeds are 2nd and Oxford are over the hill in 20th place. Our form is W L W W D and Oxford is L L D L L, so there's no fear of losing this game. Current Oxford players of note include Josh McEachran who fancies himself as the modern day Zinedane Zidane, and err that's it. I've never heard of any of their other players. I'm calling for a big win on Saturday, a 4-0 thrashing as we ready up for the Boxing Day Bash at Stoke. Goals from Gnonto 2, James 1, Joseph 1.